One of my favorite teachers told me once that he dressed the way that he did — jackets, ties, and other business attire — because he wanted us to know that, while he was our teacher, he was not our friend.
And I thought that made sense. It was his job to advocate for us. To challenge us. To help us be the best we could be. And so he wasn’t our friend. He was our teacher. To keep those ideas separate, he used his dress. I think that’s worth remembering as we move more and more of our work as teachers into online spaces.
One of our many jobs as teachers is to keep a professional separation between who we are and what we do. When we are doing our best, we are presenting ourselves in ways that help to manage that professional distance in thoughtful and productive ways.
In social networks, this looks like being present, being thoughtful, and being intentional in the ways that we use those spaces to promote what we think is essential — ways that do not confuse our teacherness and our friendness and help our students understand the difference between the two.
I made a choice as I moved forward in working with and building online spaces for teaching and learning that I wouldn’t friend current students on Facebook. My wife, a high school language arts teacher, has adopted a rule that I think is a fine standard. She does not friend students until they graduate from high school.
Facebook is not her primary online space for interacting with students. She has created course spaces where students and she engage in course-related conversation and content. And she maintains a professional presence in her personal Facebook account. That’s a good thing. Graduates who choose to continue the relationship past their time in high school find much the same person that they found in the classroom. And those students talk with her, mostly, about the same things that they would have in their school spaces.
She is never not a teacher, though.
I’d encourage you to do the same. Wherever you are as a person and as a professional, you are still a teacher. It’s a high calling that we’ve gone after. Whenever and wherever you are, seek to model the best of your professional and personal self. Keep a sense of professional distance.
A professional persona
Professional distance doesn’t mean be a heartless, soulless automaton. Certainly, care and love and concern for the young people in our work is paramount. But it does mean be intentional and purposeful about the ways that you present yourself, wherever you may happen to be.
Some teachers don’t like this advice. “But I can’t have a beer?” they respond. That’s not what I’m saying, and such responses usually indicate that folks have missed my point. By all means, be the self you are. But if you’re representing your personal self as someone overly concerned by things that have no place in your classroom, then perhaps that personal self needs to make a change or two.
I’ve written before that if you’re unhappy with the public knowing what you’re up to as a public school educator, then perhaps you should work to be a better you. We are all in the process of becoming the persona we’ve set for ourselves. Learning is a stance. We are always moving in a direction of being better.
But we should also be moving on purpose towards the types of relationships and stances that we think we should be modeling and developing. I don’t like the idea of overly prescriptive social media policies. I think that teachers, like other professionals, should work from broad ideas of ethics and responsibilities and make choices that make sense in their communities, contexts and climates. But that means that it’s up to us to act responsibly and properly. To not wait until we find ourselves in bad situations to act. And to be sure that we’re looking after our students wherever we might happen to find them.
For the same reason that I set boundaries in my face to face interactions with students, I maintain some sense of professional separation in online spaces. I’d encourage you to consider carefully you and your community’s comfort as you intentionally choose the public faces of your online self. And, whatever you decide, please communicate it to the students and families in your care. Make sure your administrators know what — and where and how — you’re doing.
Identity construction and relationships are complicated stuff. Tread carefully and on purpose.
Bud Hunt
Latest posts by Bud Hunt (see all)
- Inquiring About Teacher Inquiry - February 15, 2012
- Should Teachers Friend Their Students? - September 23, 2011
- Bud Hunt: Thoughts for New Teachers - August 19, 2011
Bud, a number of teachers I work with use Facebook as their main entry point onto the internet and they treat it very much in the way that more experienced social media experts warn us that our students are using it – to let off steam, to let their hair down – without realising that it is not just their close circle of friends who may be watching. They would argue that it is their right to treat Facebook as part of their private, non-school life without being bound by a higher behaviour code than their non-school acquaintances and family members. So party pics, expletive laden comments and membership of dodgy “likes” still abound in their accounts – it makes it hard to be giving out advice to students about “be careful about what you post” when they don’t see that everything posted onto this one site is forming a very comprehensive digital footprint. But then again, for a few teachers teaching is just a job, not a calling, so naively believing that one can separate one’s private from professional in the digital world is probably not surprising.
Wow…this is so well-put, Bud. Thanks for sharing this…it’s something I’ve been pondering lately.
Thanks, Julie. Glad it was useful to you.
Last week one of my 13-year-old students asked me permission to add me on FB. I said no. I added I considered her FB account her own private space and that I wouldn’t like to invade that. She answered:
-I don’t think you would have the time to click around and see my photos.
-But I could if we were befriended.
End of the conversation. She understood. She smiled and did not feel rejected at all.
Now, if FB allows to subscribe as you do on Twitter, then I would have no problem in their adding me. Actually, they could choose to read my tweets without alerting me of their following. A google search of my name would quickly take them there. It’s just a microblog url.
I would still choose not to add them neither on FB nor Twitter. I have added people who are my students, but they are adults. That’s a world of difference.
What I say anywhere online can be read in a school context. The problem is not what I may write online; the problem is faking a friendship that, as you very well point out Bud, is not real.
“Friend” on facebook or other social networking sites does not have the same meaning as it does offline. But it is a public venue, much the same way as the park or the grocery store is. Would we brush off our students if we saw them there?
Our right to free speech protects us from getting fined or jailed, but it does NOT mean that we can say or do whatever we like and still keep our jobs.
Certainly “friend” doesn’t mean the same thing. But I think the metaphor works. And, while we’d certainly speak to a student when we ran into them at the store or down at the ballgame, we’d also certainly not invite them back to our houses for a private visit later.
1. But is Facebook (or fill in the blank social space) the same as a “private visit?” Would you email a student (and isn’t that more “private” than Facebook)?
2. Never? Have you never had (or would you never have) a student at your house? How about a neighborhood kid? Is that kid a student? Is it okay if they’re a student but not your student? What if they’re a student, not your student, but at your school? Or what if they’re not your student, but could be your student one day?
Messy.
Karl,
Certainly, they’re not the same thing. And yes, I have emailed students, and will when it makes sense to. So perhaps “certainly” wasn’t the right word in that sentence – but as a general rule, we don’t invite all our students back home. One of the reasons why I don’t think that we need overly prescriptive social media policies, like the Missouri foolishness, for example, is that folks should be able to exercise their judgment.
Sure, I’ve had relationships with students that extended beyond the boundaries of the classroom. Some of them family, or children of friends, etc. But even then there was some sense of distance.
This is a good bit, Bud.
What I like about it is your message that our choices in online spaces need to be intentional. I think that’s a message that doesn’t get shared enough.
I also think it’s interesting that people believe that there are higher standards for teachers today than there were in the pre-Facebook world that we grew up in.
That’s not really true, is it.
Standards were just as high. Teachers blowing it out at the local bar or cursing their brains out during the adult softball league game would have drawn just as much negative attention.
The standards aren’t different. It’s just the opportunity to be seen that’s different.
Which is where intentionality comes in.
Thanks for making me think this morning…
Bill
Bill –
Yep – that’s all. Be on purpose whenever and wherever you’re able. I do find it odd that we apply entirely different mindsets to many of our online environments in ways that don’t make sense.
You’re most welcome – thanks for stopping by.
I cannot be an educator who cares about students only when they are in my class. I care about them forever. Having a different FB account from my personal one allows me to keep in touch when they move on. Why not use it- it’s there. I never ask the student; I wait for them to ask me.
I too have a different “school” account from my personal account. I am always cognizant of what I put in writing because it is a permanent record. So I never put anything in cyberspace that I would not say in public. However, I keep my political, religious, and humorous views out of the “school” account. In my personal account, however, I have every right as ANY American to voice my own views. Why should educators not be allowed to have a voice, when any other profession does give voice.
The fact is this is why we need tenure. As a private citizen outside of school I should have the right to have my own opinions and not fear getting fired because it is contrary to the board of education or administrators. As long as I am law abiding and do not pose danger to others (inside or outside of the classroom) I should have the right to participate in our democratic processes which includes expressing beliefs. Without this right, we are not a democratic country. Of course, with that expression comes the responsibility of supporting our beliefs with logic and data, allowing others to express their opinions without impunity, and understanding that some might disapprove or dislike us because of our beliefs. As long as there is discourse and exchange of ideas, we will stay a democracy.
I appreciated your reply because you didn’t mention the social media, and you seemed to have some experience (positive) with befriending students. I’d appreciate your opinion regarding my circumstance.
My student is 22 years old, an adult who is homeless. I would like to help her outside the classroom. I know there are social workers who can help (although they are usually too busy..). Also, I have developed a motherly affection for this student.
Any thoughts on this? Thanks. Much appreciated.
Kristan
Wow, what a timely post. I recently deleted my FB for many reasons. I agree with the first commenter who said that some teachers see teaching as a “calling”, not simply a profession. That would be me. I always struggled with deciding whether to add students who requested me on FB. I did it for a while, but ended up deleting all of them when I realized that my feed was cluttered with updates from kids with tons of info that I definitely did not want to know. Then I realized that this was true about non-students, too! Too much information! So, now I blog, tweet, and tumble, but no FB for me.
Bud, as always, you are one of my very favorite writers because you are always so incredibly thoughtful (thoughtful as in “kind” and thoughtful as in “full of thought”.)
One note here: with the institution of the new Facebook subscriptions — a new feature whereby anyone can subscribe to your public posts — the landscape has, yet again, changed. If you have subscriptions active and if someone “friends” you, but you do not accept the request (in other words, you leave the friendship pending rather than simply declining it), that person is automatically subscribed to your public posts.
I’m not sure this changes anything that Bud has written, but it’s worth noting as teachers figure out their strategies for friending, denying-friending, public-posting, et cetera.
Thank you, Audrey. Very much.
Yeah – I think that the advantage of the subscription model for Facebook (or the Twitterification of Facebook) is that folks can have a few more options in their toolbox when it comes to making purposeful moves in these spaces. Of course, since Facebook is a moving target when it comes to what’s public/private there, that toolbox can only take you so far. But I appreciate the mention of the new set of options. One more thing about which to be mindful.
I’m glad you wrote this post. I was considering this issue yesterday. I have a few thoughts. First, Audrey thanks for helping to explain the changes in Facebook–those matter and we need to know about them. Next, I like the idea of personal and professional protocols when it comes to Internet work with our students. If you’re going to engage or friend students online, I think it’s best to do it on a professional Facebook page, NING or other venue–one you’ve created for your professional relationships. If the children are under 13, it’s important that the site be a closed network that parents approve and join. I also think that professionals should ask colleagues and/or administrators to also join that site to create a sense of checks and balance. Then, if something uncomfortable happens, as professionals you can work on it together. Finally, your professional site should not be restricted to a few favorite students, instead it should be advertised and open to all–after all, you’re all of your students’ teacher (past and present). As teachers we need to be trusting adults and guides in our students lives, like parents, we are not their friends.
I disagree with this article. To me it confuses the point. In it’s attempt to delineate personal and professional presence online it strips away the personal and expects a professional persona in what has been designed as a personal space. Instead the article needs to cover the means by which teachers can successfully coordinate the two online. Not having a forum or outlet to express ourselves separately to our professional lives, in my view impacts on the dynamic which innately contributes towards making us the teachers we are. That said, we all need to be aware of our online presence and it’s repercussions. I like the idea of generating educationally focused spaces for interacting with students. Facebook shouldn’t even be in the equation here.
Eytan –
Facebook is a personal space? Nah – I’m going to say not so much. Facebook is a place. Folks determine what that place is like. (And Facebook helps, too. It’s a marketplace, but often you’re what’s for sale.)
I’m not so sure that one *does* coordinate multiple selves online terribly well. And, more often than I’m comfortable with (but certainly not *all* the time), people look to keep hidden stuff that might shouldn’t be. And, as services like Facebook and Google+ become identity authentication tools, to a certain degree, I’m thinking that teachers, nor any other professionals, won’t have the luxury of pretending the two public selves are different. And perhaps, just perhaps, they shouldn’t be.
Thanks for helping me to think more about this.
Sorry, but I think you’re flat out wrong. Firstly, as has been pointed out, ‘friend’ on Facebook has entirely different connotations than in it does in a physical space. ‘Friending’ a student really means offering a type of contact, in a different learning environment.
Secondly, don’t get hung up on the idea that Facebook is about leisure – it’s not. Facebook is just as much about learning, teaching, students talking to each other AND to teachers or other educators. Why would you want to block that avenue off?
Third, Facebook has now radically altered the way that you connect with people. It’s perfectly possible to create entirely different lists of people who only see certain things. You can very easily keep a public face and a private one.
Facebook and other social media are NOT going away. They are part and parcel of both the education experience AND a general life experience. It’s a shame to see an educator, who should be open to different options and possibilities block them off rather than encourage them.
Phil –
Thanks for your comment. Of course, I’m going to disagree with you. Mostly because I never suggested that Facebook was a place of leisure, and I don’t think that the term “friend” is really the issue. But I do think the metaphor of “teacher as friend,” one that I often hear and will always push against, is a useful one for teachers to consider. Be it on Facebook or in person, we are not our students’ friends. When we forget that, when we do not maintain some sense of professional distance from our students, we make serious mistakes in judgments. (Using the collective “we” here, of course.)
That you read my post as anti social media is unfortunate. I think social media and social networking tools have great power and opportunity for teaching and learning. But I don’t use Facebook in that way. That’s an intentional choice that I’ve made. And I’d encourage you to use the spaces you use in the ways that you think make sense – but I’d encourage you to be intentional about the way you use them.
As for your statement about keeping “entirely different lists of people,” well, that’s illusory, for the most part. Sure, you can pretend that you’ve walled your life, personal and professional and otherwise, into discreet chunks that will never intersect. But that wasn’t possible completely offline and it’s certainly not online. No matter how good it might feel to believe otherwise.
Bud, thanks for a timely post. I just wrote about the same topic on my blog today. I don’t accept Facebook invites from students for the same reasons you explain above, but I do allow students to follow me on Twitter and I do the same for them. Why the difference? My Twitter account is a source of professional learning for me; I may make the occasional remark about reading or singing but it is nothing that the students and the public can’t hear. The public nature of it helps make the interaction less “behind-the-door”. It’s also been a way for me to more powerfully teach things like online privacy and model appropriate conduct. Feel free to see my tweets (@MzMollyTL) and you can let me know if you think I’m playing with fire or using acceptable limits. (I should mention that the Ontario College of Teachers, at http://www.oct.ca has guidelines about social media and they also urge caution at friending students.)
I think a lot of this issue has to do with context. I have a facebook account and any student who requests my ‘friendship’ is added to my contact list.
As you have said Bud, facebook is a place and I view it just as I do the other places in my life. The idea that there needs to be ‘rules’ about who I can and can’t communicate with in any place seems bizarre to me.
Living in a small country town means I have constant contact with my students outside of school so I have no issue in having contact with them on facebook. I have to be just as careful of my professional image when I am in the supermarket or the local hotel as I do on facebook and I don’t find that difficult.That’s not an issue for me but I can understand that it might be in a different location or school setting.If occasionally the fact that I have students viewing my status updates causes me to think twice before I post, then that’s likely a good thing!
I email my kids on a frequent basis, which as Karl says, is a much more private forum than a public facebook wall. I also invite students into my home on a fairly regular basis. There was one here today going over some exam prep and another ex student is calling in tomorrow to catch me up on his university experience. That’s the context of our community.
I am currently researching the impact of facebook as a learning tool in our school as part of my Masters action research project. The findings (from my context), are quite conclusive in the positive effect facebook interaction with teachers can and is having on our students’ learning.
The world is a changing and without adult presence and guidance on social media, the kids will make up the rules as they go along.
I think every educator needs to look at their own context and make judgements based on common sense. What we shouldn’t do is try and make blanket rulings for all teachers about all students and all social media.
Professional Distance.
Professional Separation.
I’m not sure what those mean.
Persona: Noun
1. The aspect of someone’s character that is presented to or perceived by others.
2. A role or character adopted by an author or an actor.
Professional Persona – I’m not sure what that means. Am I “acting”? Am I “adopting a character?” Is it what I present, or what others perceive? What if others’ perceptions are out of whack?
I get and completely agree about “being intentional and purposeful” about the ways you interact with students, whether that be face-to-face or online. And you know I agree with being your best self, online or off.
What I don’t get is artificially creating separation. Really, wearing a jacket and tie is the key to being a good, “professional” teacher? I guess I don’t qualify. Do teachers and students have different roles? Sure (but perhaps not as different as we’d like to think). But what exactly are we afraid of here?
If teachers should “work from broad ideas of ethics and responsibilities,” then why do I need to let my administrator know “what, where and how” I’m communicating with my students and their parents? Can’t a teacher exercise their professional judgment?
I think we would all agree that it would be silly to say that all teachers should friend their students on Facebook. It’s just as silly for you or anyone else to say they shouldn’t.
Bud, thank you for your post. I have been presenting on this topic for a number of years yet your thoughts really made me think. I have never really had an issuewith “friending” students andstill keeping that online relationship as professional as my face to face ones. Even though I understandthe risks involved I also see the responsibility I hold to guide my students in this environment. If not us (educators) then who?
You’ve put forward a clear argument for why Facebook friending risks confusing a teacher’s professional life with their social life. Excluding students from one’s Facebook “friends” removes one context in which this confusion can occur. I think it’s reasonable for teachers to choose this course of action, but it’s not one I’d take myself.
I agree that ‘friending’ complicates things, but complexity isn’t bad in itself – it all comes down to how you handle it. Here’s just one partly hypothetical context, relevant to me, where ‘friending’ makes sense. I live in a small rural community where I’m a part-time technology coach/ict teacher in nearby schools. Some of the students I teach are real life friends of my children, and their parents are real life friends of me. I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t “friend” children who sometimes share a meal or sleep overnight in my house. This is hypothetical only because none have tried to ‘friend’ me yet, but if they did – even though they might be breaking Facebook’s 13+ age limit – I’d see no reason decline the request.
I advocate teachers have 2 FB accounts, 1 personal and one professional. The personal is totally private in FB settings. The professional is more open. Teachers then friend students in the professional account and present themselves as they would in the classroom. This allows for a conduit to the students. It allows for teachers to see issues as they arise and to share the learning process in another avenue.
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students and teachers should be advised not to be friends on social media because teachers have to let students know about the disadvantages of using social media while taking studies in high school and lower